The Ups and Downs

This post is a little sad,  not discouraging but a little heavy, I guess.

I have a huge burden on my heart to be in ministry.  My husband and I have started a small home church and the people who attend are loving it.  They feel inspired.  They say,  "We feel like this must be what it was like with the Disciples."  There is a closeness to one another.  We pray together sometime for as long as 30 minutes at a time.  It hardly seems like it though, as the prayers are spontanious and heart felt (United Prayer).  We praise God. We pray for each other.  We confess our sins.  We pray for the Holy Spirit and direction in our ministry to reach our community.

We have been using Young Disc*ple Quarterly every Sabbath for our study guide.  We are all so richly blessed by it that a single lesson can go on in discussion for an hour and a half without breaking interest.  This leaves no time for a sermon usually but we are so blessed by the Study that we sometimes just end right there with more prayer and singing. 
We then fellowship and visit while we enjoy an awesome vegetarian meal together.  There is love and laughter and lots of discussion about new outreach ideas.
 
My husband has not lost his ferver since coming back from GYC this winter.  He is as much into this now as he was then.  He has ideas which he would like to impliment and try.
 
We've also registered as an A-Unit with *ARME.  They have a 6 week program for leading small groups into community outreach and church growth.  We are excited about that but haven't recieved feed back from them yet to show us the first step. 

I talked to the pastor today and I shared my desire for a quick follow-up on our last program done by Dr. Tim R*esenberger.  The interest seemed to lie primarily in learning to cook vegetarian food just as the Dr. suggested in his program and so,  it is my endeaver to get that started soon.  I'm excited about that!

But,  with all the responsibilities of leading out in a ministry of some sort comes a whole ton of critisizim, people issues, misunderstandings, and rumors. 
I have alluded to the fact before that we were not comfortable, as a family, with the worship music at our main church and had voiced our concerns.  There was some pretty upset folk, unfortunately, and we were told to not speak our opinions and concerns again.  Needless to say, it was a bit uncomfortable for the next year, to actually feel convicted about something strong enough to get up and walk out the church we loved so much as the music continued to beat.  

When we started our new little home church, we invited our pastor to our house to let him know that this would be a ministry to bring people to Jesus.  It would help to build the church, not tear it down,  It was a new (very old) idea to have home churches for people who were not comfortable with "Church" ideas.  He seemed to understand and was happy for the idea.   We did let him know that it would also allow us to be able to worship without the drums and electric guitars that we found rather distracting.  He understood and thought it was a good idea.

The last little while has been interesting though.  While my husband is busy at work, the phone rings and people call to talk.  Some just need to talk and I'm just happy to be their friend and listen.  Still, others rant about how they hate the chuch and they will never be Seve*th Day A*ventist because of blah blah blah.  Others are afraid to be associated with our little home church for fear of hurting somebody's feelings in the main church but quietly come because they love the blessings they receive there.  Still others phone because they have preconceived or mis-conceived ideas of what we are trying to do.  Judgements are made,  "Are you trying to split the church?"  Accusations are also made but are heard mostly just through that ugly, horrible grape vine and others come with honest open hearts to ask honest open hearted questions.  And so,  It has fallen to me to explain time and time again that,  "Yes,  we love Jesus!  Yes,  we even love our church! and yes,  we are S*venth Day A*ventists and believe the doctrins because we have bent our heads to the Bible to study them and they are indeed true!  Yes,  we are members of the Church and we don't plan on changing that.  Yes, we pay a tithe to God through the conference and we believe that is right.  And finally, No, we are not an offshoot!  We believe in the church organization, the Bible, Spirit of Prophecy, and the 28 fundam*ntal beliefs.
 
We do have some concerns with some practices that are slipping quietly and subtlely into our church and are somehow believed to be "Christian" practices but are not.  Do we judge our brothers?  No, but we pray for them!

And so the burden of this whole misunderstanding lays heavy on my heart.  Art and I have been asked to make our presence known a little more often at the main church so people will know we are working with and not apart from them (Can we do this without attending a rock concert? Maybe they will accomodate once in a while.).  We have been asked but not given a date yet, to speak to the people at the main church about the home church ministry.  We've also been asked to come to the board meeting and explain.  All this we have readily agreed to do happily.

I was thinking about all these things the other day and I prayed for help from God to accomplish only that which would be pleasing to him.  I fear to make my own steps or to make any plans that are not led by Him.  While Art and I have felt led to do this work,  it has been far from easy! 

I went into town to do some visitation with some ladies and to meet with a new lady that is Ad*ventist that has just moved up here for 6 months.  She is working in the prison and was wondering if we could start some sort of prison ministry.  I was very excited about that possibility of course!  Then she went on to say that she would love to meet with the people from the home church as well as from the main church.  She said she had something to teach us about the trinity that we got all wrong!  My heart fell!  Why must we be bombarded so?  I'm not apposed to listening and learning but I can see in my minds eye, more rumors, whispers, accusations.  I'm not quite prepared.

The Devil has certainly put on his army boots and the very foundation of our church is being shaken with each step he takes.  I am more convinced then ever before that there is a great work and ministry to be done up here and that souls are ripe to learn about Jesus and his saving grace, but that is making the enemy scared and determined to botch up any work and anybody that will actually be instrumental in God's hands to reach them. 

Please pray for us.  This is challenging but we are not discouraged!  We just need your prayers that God will lead us careful step by careful step so that we do not in any way damage His cause but rather strengthen it.