Dear Friends (all those who have been praying for me, our church and our Bible Study group),
Life has been very interesting. The Devil has been true to character in attacking me and trying to destroy a good thing. God has been true to His word in defending His cause! The last Bible study was a blessing to me. Ok, so I was the one who was facilitating it but I was indeed truly inspired by his word and strengthened by the interest of the people.
It came as a surprise then, when on Sabbath, I had a hand push against my chest to stop me, a door closed right in my face, and on the other side was heard very emphatically, "I don't like her right now!" I was a little taken aback. I had not pushed my own agenda anywhere! I had been very kind to everyone! I have tried to never step on toes or create any ripples! I've been praying everyday to be like Jesus! My heart sunk.
It was another attempt of the Devil to get me down. I recognized that right away. How can I tell people of the love of Jesus if I am feeling angry and won't forgive this person for hating without cause! How can I preach forgiveness if I am holding a grudge? This was a ploy of the Devil to stop the Bible Study/Prayer in our church or at least the effectiveness of it. However, I felt suddenly defensive. How come the Devil keeps trying to use people to destroy what I want to do for God? But then, the question came to mind, "How could
I keep this project going when suddenly
I am feeling so defensive of it?" It was never mine to defend from the beginning. Oh boy, The Devil knew that one minor offense could produce in me a whole deluge of carnal reactions! I needed help!
I got on my knees and began to pray! "God help me to be forgiving. Help me not to keep reliving it. Help me put the offense completely aside and to treat the offender like Jesus would." I called my neighbor friend and she came for a bike ride with me. We sat in my favorite prayer place as I told her that I was struggling spiritually and needed strength from God. She held me up. She told me that since the Bible Study/prayer group began, she has felt peace in heart and forgiveness for the first time. She has rearranged her schedule so that she can wake up at 5:30 every morning and pray and read her Bible. She told me how she feels so blessed because of this Bible Study/prayer thing.
I realized again how effective this ministry could be if, even under duress and threat of closure, I let God defend His own cause and leave myself out of it. I began to sing every time I felt myself being drawn back into the trap of being offended. I made a fresh raspberry pie for the offender. I wanted and still want only to show the love of Jesus. The Lord even provided information on a much broader perspective as why this person is so reactive. My heart was broken by the story! It was enough to bring me to tears. I was brought to my knees on their behalf. I was sincerely humbled by the story and completely repentant of my own inward thoughts. God have mercy on me!
It was an attack from the Devil to break me down. God used it to help me see my own weakness and to Glorify Him when He made me strong!
The Bible Study/Prayer group continues on. Now our Pastor who seemed so discouraged just weeks ago, is excited for the possibilities that are becoming evident. Praise God from whom all blessing flow!
We had a close knit group of 5 people last week and it's looking like this week will be more. Please, to all those who have committed to pray for this thing, keep praying. God is about to work some major miracles in Whitehorse! Don't give up! The Devil is angrier then ever but God is strong and our faith is being built!